So, let me get this right. A certain rail company who I shall not name but whose name begins with ‘Chil’ and ends in ‘tern’ changed their timetable on Sunday so that their ‘express’ train now starts earlier and stops at additional stations. This means that I can catch it and get to work slightly earlier.

This sounds all good, right? In theory perhaps but in practice you’d be WRONG!

You see, the old train I used to get was fairly efficient and whilst I might have been late once or twice, it never broke down in the eighteen months or so that I’ve been catching it so far.

Their express train, however, is a different story. First of all, it’s old. I mean really old. I think it’s old British Rail stock, the kind that Virgin used to use before they replace all theirs. It may well be refurbished but it’s still older than I am (40+). And I can guarantee that when the express train used to start in Birmingham that it used to fail at least once a month, if not more.

Well, today was it’s second day on the new route and time and guess what? Why yes, it broke down!

Oh, but wait. It get’s better.

According to the updates we got for the forty minutes whilst it sat there, the brakes couldn’t be released and so eventually it was cancelled and we all had to disembark. And when we did, it fucked off!

But they said that they couldn’t release the breaks. How does that work then?!

Not only that, it went in the direction we all needed to go! Why couldn’t it take us with it?

I therefore expect to hear on the news that a train has crashed into the channel because it didn’t have any brakes.

Oh, and fares are going up next month. Yeah, thanks for that. Perhaps buy some new brakes?